Tuesday, May 08, 2007
No cups on MY head.
This morning, however, we are out of staples, and this has caused my work-rate to grind sufficiently to a halt that I'm able to make a post. There's an elephantine pile of databasing to my left. It is unstapled. I can't database it until it's stapled. Well, technically I could, but meddling with unstapled sheaves of paper that are much better off corralled into individual stories is practically courting catastrophe. Were I to embark on such an endeavour I fancy things would get in a pretty pickle, as the young folk say. I mostly say a ghastly mess. I don't at all. I don't know why I pretend such things.
We've judged the micro-fiction, you'll be happy to know. We wanted to have announced the results by now, but we rather dimly left the stories with the member of the team who was way too busy to get the names off the database, so we're going to have to do that within the next couple of days. Then there shall be an announcement. And it'll be almost on time. We're very close to being proud. Peculiar stuff though, micro-fiction. Don't take massive offence or anything, but I'm going to point out an area where lots of you went slightly astray. You wrote too much. Not too much for the rules or anything. Just too much for the stories you were writing. It's our fault for putting the word limit up probably, but this competition did largely lack the wonderfully concise, epigrammatic little two-sentence and single paragraph stories that were by and large our favourites in the first comp. The vast majority of these stories pushed right up to the 500 word mark, and it was either more or less wordage than they truly had in them. Which is possibly a thing to think about for next time.
Another way you can make us happy is to use tab indents for new paragraphs. We'll love you more than we love satsumas if you actually use the tab button instead of hitting the space bar four times. You don't know what joy that brings to a typesetter and an editor. Really you don't. And don't address us as 'Dear Sirs', because half of us are nothing of the sort. Thank you. I didn't mean to be telling you off.
As I say, we're out of staples. That's the kind of news you've been missing out on.
Sam.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Micro Fiction and Matt’s Head
The judging for the micro fiction is hotting up. Partly due to the fact that we have been sitting outdoors in this lovely weather in order to better enjoy the entries. Partly due to the fact that there is a finalists pile! No names to be revealed yet. Well, we don’t even know the names because we don’t look until after the stories are chosen. So, all you eager micro writers and writers of micro fiction, any moment now…
Also micro fiction is so fun that we have now opened another competition for it. This time, watch out, it is even more micro. Only 300 words. Ha, there’s a challenge for you.
Also, if you want to see just how it’s done, we have just had a further print run of ‘The Final Theory’ back from the printers. This book contains all the winners and commended entries from our first micro competition. There’s some great, impressive and very compact work in there. You can buy it straight from our site (we get more money that way) or from Amazon (they get more money that way).
Finally, Matt’s head was in no way damaged any further than it usually is by balancing all those cups on it. Could the person who promised to buy a copy of ‘The Better Craftsman’ if Matt could perform this amazing exploit please do so. Because we won.
Any further office challenges will only be taken up if the challengers promise to buy books.
Don’t tell Matt I said this, but, he claims to be able to do a headstand … that is surely worth buying a few anthologies for. Aside from which they are great to read.
Ceci.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Sneak Preview - Coffee and Chocolate

I thought I'd share the cover of the upcoming Coffee and Chocolate Anthology for anyone that's interested. I think it's very sensual.
Gav.
The Better Craftsman - now available

– Extract from ‘The Better Craftsman’.
The Better Craftsman & Other Stories contains the winning entries from the Leaf Books Summer Short Story Competition. The ten unremittingly brilliant tales nestling within cover subjects as diverse as a student’s getting the most out of a maverick academic, a couple’s raising a family in a never-ending traffic jam and a landlubberly boy’s first visit to the seaside.
It arrived back from the printers on Thursday and as such is now officially available for purchase:
http://www.leafbooks.co.uk/readers/books/bettercraftsman.htmlIt really is very good. Go on: treat yourself.
Gav.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hay Festival 2007 – Only for the Famous!!
We are considering a minor revolution and may have to set up camp in the car park and read from there until security chuck us off, and send for the police, at which point we can do readings from the local nick. Any authors interested in in-cell performance?
If by some lucky chance you are already famous and reading on the main stage and also published by us – yay- you don’t need us anymore. Or please get in touch and you can support us supporting new writers.
Ceci.
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Micro Fiction Competition – What’s Happening
What I can say for sure is the prize is still £200 and publication. Not Las Vegas, sorry.
Also we are still reading, reading, reading. There were a prolific number of good entries and thus there will be more debating than usual re who is going to get into the anthology. However be assured we are giving the Micro Fiction our full attention and are hoping to announce results soon. Beginning of May we hope. That’s if we haven’t destroyed each other in our whole-hearted attempts to defend our favourite pieces of micro fiction.
Ceci.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Better than an Easter Egg - Open Short Story Winners
Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to all who entered for the hours of entertaining reading and the tough choices in the judging.
Open Short Story 2006 Winners:
Winner
'The Light That Remains' by Paul Currion
Runner-Up
'Natural Selection, Gaza 2004' by Robert Wilton
Commended
'Starshine' by Mark Wagstaff
'Breakfast Things' by Mark Wagstaff
'Third Person' by Michael Stewart
'Darling, You Know and I Know' by Lynne Voyce
'Treasure' by Holly Barratt
'Hide and Seek' by Jenny Jack
'Something to Write Home About' by Ian Madden
'Mid-Life Baby' by Annette Keen
'Burning' by Sue Anderson
'Standing Up on the Pedals' by Joanna Quinn
'Perhaps Birches' by Joanna Lilley
'Break, Break, Break' by Sally Douglas
Gav.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Open Poetry Competition 2006 - Results
Winner:
'Outbox' by Nicky Mesch
Runner-up:
'The Craft' by Gill Learner
Commended (in no particular order):
'The Calorific Value of Anxiety' by Gill Learner
'Window' by Benjamin Logan
'Learning Science' by Kathy Miles
'Stranger Danger' by Mark Chatterley
'Hieroglyphic Love' by Gwen Seabourne
'A Son' by Pat Borthwick
'Rats' by Tracey S Rosenberg
'Sonar' by Robert Warrington
'The Same Lover' by Hilaire Wood
'Bottle-Green' by Hilaire Wood
'do not add post' by Jason Jackson
'Endowment' by Juliette Hart
'Sandman' by Juliette Hart
'After the Funeral' by Chris Kinsey
'Levi, 2001' by Sinead Collins
'Learner Readers' by Margaret Eddershaw
'Winter Kafeneion' by Margaret Eddershaw
'The Dreamfisher' by Oz Hardwick
'A Candle for Daphne' by Gabriel Griffin
'Bedazzled' by Sue Anderson
'Things I Do' by Gwyneth Box
'Body' by Alice Blake
'Tough Love' by Claire Trevien
'Prayer' by Charles Evans
'Upside Down' by Charles Evans
'Maternal Visit' by Doreen Gray
'Sea Change' by Jenny Morris
'A Splash of Colour' by William Wood
Congratulations to all the above and our thanks to everyone who entered. As ever, an anthology containing all the winning entries will be produced in due course. It'll be called Something or the Other and Other Poems, except 'something or the other' will be replaced with proper words, like a title or what have you. It's going to be grand.
Expect an announcement about the Open Short Story competition later in the week, if you think you can take the excitement.
Sam.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Nearly news.
We do have a smear of news today. The Better Craftsman and Other Stories has been emailed off to the printer and should hopefully be back with us in whatever amount of time these things usually take. And then you can buy it for £6.99, which will make us inordinately happy. It's a grand little collection and it has ten entirely spiffing stories in it, and also quite an exciting cover.
And I really do plan on getting up to speed with the novellas today. Really I do.
Sam.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Oh. Yes. Also.
Sam.
Data protection and the dehydrating effects thereof.
Mostly I was writing because I noticed in February, when we announced the winners of the Coffee and Chocolate themed competitions, we said that The Better Craftsman and Other Stories was on course to be out and about by the end of 'this month', which is obviously pretty much a fib on account of that month's having ended. I think probably my intention was to say 'next month' anyway, because that was generally understood to be the plan. It still is the plan. Barring any printing mishaps or delays or what have yous, the anthology should be available for purchase by the end of this month, which is March. Apologies for any confusion and the like.
Oh. Well. Sigh. Water. They must be finished soon though, the data protection bods. The sandwich man who comes along daily in his sandwich van will be here any minute now, and no way will Gav and Ceci sit quietly and listen to people talking about data protection if it means risking the absence of sandwiches. It's not that we don't care enormously about protecting your data, but the sandwich man is our hero and 11.30am-ish is generally a very exciting time of the morning. I'm sure you'll understand. Especially you, Mr Ephraim Gadsby of the Nasturtiums, Jubilee Road, Streatham Common.
Joke, obviously. But an approving nod to anyone who can tell me from which author I lifted Mr Ephraim Gadsby.
Sam.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Guidelines and paper clips.
- If you enter online and make a payment by PayPal using a different name and/or email address to the one you used to upload your competition entry, please make that clear in the comments section of the upload form, stating the name/email address/what have you of the PayPal account. Otherwise we get confused and fail to match up entry and payment (they come to us in two separate emails, for those inexplicably interested in the minutae of our working day) and end up emailing you and then waiting for a reply and it's all a bit upsetting. Not massively upsetting, obviously. I wouldn't let it trouble you personally. But doing the above would be really more than great.
- Sometimes... not often... things go wrong with some element of the process and we get entries without payments and payments without entries and entries without words and other permutations of the above. We deal with these issues via email. We'd advise you to look out for such emails from us in the days after you've entered just in case something's gone astray. As I say, far and away the majority of online entries reach us with no problems whatsoever, but sometimes mishaps are a tad unavoidable, and I'm pointing this out because, even more occasionally, the entrants don't respond to our queries about what became of the entry that should correspond to this payment and what have you. We still have a couple of problematic half-entries outstanding from the recently closed micro-fiction competition, and we can't wait indefinitely. We don't much want you to miss out on the whole entering business, so do try and be electronically available in the couple of days after submitting your work.
- Not to be putting any contact information on the entries themselves, please. This is quite important and often sadly overlooked. We do delete all the errant info prior to printing the entries out, but this does slow down the whole process and makes us a little bit jittery. It's not a question of our not loving you regardless, but we'll love you even more if you don't put your name on your entry.
That's about it. As I say, we'll be tweaking the guidelines appropriately in the near future. There's a website update going on as we speak, in fact. Mostly that'll be Gav's taking down the now closed Micro-fiction competition (which, numbers wise, was even more of a rip-roaring success than the previous one, so hurrah for that) and putting up the new Spring Poetry Competition 2007 (or possibly Spring 2007 Poetry Competition) instead. If you ask nicely in comments, and I'm not saying that we're in any sense desperate for comments, perhaps he'll put the links in this post when the pages are complete. Or you can just keep refreshing the website, which is also fun. Root Books - our new branch (we are SUCH wits) that's all about giving new authors a bit of a boost and the like, with the print-readying and subsequent printing of any manuscripts they might want printing and, you know, more besides, has its own page on the website. We've written a new newsletter and made an amusing advert with Venus on it. And I am unamused to discover that my favourite paper clip has escaped. My second favourite paper clip, which is circular, honours us still with its presence, but the triangular one is AWOL.
You can post sitings here if you so wish. In comments. And don't go thinking we care about comments.
Sam.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Cracking on
We're very much enjoying micro-fiction entries. There is less than two weeks left to enter but I'm sure you've already marked that in your calendar.
Production on the Better Craftsman (containing the results of the Summer Short Story Competition) is progressing marvelously and I think Matt is looking for a 70s revival with the cover. Very stripey and pretty. And production of the yet unnamed Chocolate and Coffee anthology is starting this week.
Reading/judging of the Open Short Story and Open Poetry is well underway.
Root Creations first self-published collection (The Red Book) is doing well. We've also re-introduced our critiquing service to the website for anyone looking for positive and practical feedback from our editor and team of readers.
And that ends this blog posting.
Gav.
Friday, February 16, 2007
We Aren'tn't Dead
Sam.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Strangest thing.
The trains are running fine, which is unsporting of them (too many folk are damnably ungrateful for a country that breaks massively on the rare days when there's sledding to be had), but that's not going to prevent my using (and that, I believe, was a gerund) the weather as an excuse to knock off really very early and walk to a quite different station for no reason other than my rather liking (and that, I believe, was another gerund) walking in the snow.
And also because the station here has no departure boards so if there was no train due till October I wouldn't really know it.
Sam.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Why is the internet called the web?
Because it's full of threads that connect lots of things to lots of other things, and it can quite easily get mind-blowingly confusing.
This might just be my opinion. I’m in the middle of a complicated website update and so threads are very much on my mind. For example I’m trying to make easier to use our critiquing service by adding an ‘upload and pay via Paypal option’, which is relatively straightforward, but I also want it make it easy to request a critique and make an online entry. This I’m finding isn’t so easy. I have a solution it just takes a little longer to do.
The main bits of the update should be done over the next couple of days; where I’ll be adding the Root Creations wing. Though for balance we do have a Brief Leaf wing under construction on the other side. I’m just waiting for the plaster to dry.
Please mind the wet paint on your way round.
gav.Monday, February 05, 2007
I shot the database. I didn't really.
Mostly this weekend I engaged in a staring competition with the online entries folder, which contained pretty much a hundred emails, all of which needed printing off and databasing come Monday. I stared at it in the hope that it would turn away first, but it didn't. It very much won, and it gave me my customary Monday headache a day early out of pure vicious spite. Then we all databased it this afternoon, which is by and large what it wanted. But don't ever try and make our lots easier by not entering our competitions, because frankly we'd much rather you did than otherwise. I'm only saying. Also I came in half an hour early today with a view to getting started on it, and nobody knows except me, and now everybody. I don't think there's much reward in coming in half an hour early of your own volition unless you subsequently make a spot of noise about it.
Next comes the judging of the Open Short Story and Poetry competitions, which we hope will be concluded by whatever date we said we hoped they'd be concluded by on the website. You'll have to go and look for yourselves really. See how clever? And the Coffee/Chocolate winners are in the process of being edited. Or tomorrow they will be. And 'The Better Craftsman' is being formatted mostly and will be being bookified inordinately soon, about which we're all massively excited. I fancy it's going to have a faintly intruiging spine. Two competitions remain open - Science Fiction and Micro-Fiction - as does the open submission call for novella(e)(s). Which is yielding lots of novellas, essentially, and that's about all you can ask of it. Bravo.
The loos here, by the way, smell faintly of aniseed. Things could be worse.
Sam.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Coffee and Chocolate
Coffee:
Winner:
‘Aged 3, an Italian coffee bar, Pembrokeshire… ’ by Simone Mansell Broome
Runners up:
‘Coffee Haiku’ by Anna Caddy
‘Culture’ by L M Myles
Commended:
‘Time Tunnel’ by Sue Anderson
‘The Latté Literalist’ by Kenneth Shand
‘Nice’ by Peter Rolls
‘Filtered’ by Lynne Taylor
‘Stained’ by Sally Flint
‘Coffee to Go’ by Jan Petersen
‘Coffee, Kahwas and Orchids’ by Waldo Gemio
‘Morning Coffee’ by Angelina Ayers
‘Coffee Culture’ by David Miah
‘On It’ by Philip Taylor
‘That Which Prevents Sleep’ by Gertrud Gustafsson
‘Last Sunday’ by Ben Barton
Chocolate
Winner:
‘The Conspiracy of Thinness’ by Sarah Evans
Runners up:
‘Friction and Fondue’ by Amy Mackelden
‘The First’ by Carmen Ali
Commended:
‘Just a Ride’ by Janet Thomas
‘Chocolate’ by Kate Noakes
‘Just One More’ by Bethan Hole
‘Wagonwheel’ by Maire Cooney
‘Leave to Cool then Cut into Squares’ by Juliette Hart
‘The Halstead Chocolatier’ by Jeremy Dixon
‘Chocolate Super-Woman’ by Naomi Carter
‘Substitute’ by Dianna Robin Dennis
‘Hot Chocolate’ by Emma Hardy
‘Choc Talk’ by James Nelson
‘Zucci’s’ by Marie Gallagher
‘The Memory Box’ by Beverley Clarke
***
Well. There we go. Congratulations to all who entered and especially to all the above types. The listed entries will be published in a Coffee and Chocolate themed anthology that we're hoping will be available by the end of April. 'The Better Craftsman and Other Stories', by the way, which is the next anthology in the offing, remains on course to be out by the end of this month.
Next I need to put this jolly info on the website, but the editing device is a tad bust. It refuses to connect to the server. Mostly I'm saying this out loud here so you know it isn't my fault, but also in the hope that the very much offline-at-present Gav might hear me and fix it.
Sam.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Typots.
If I'd been The Guardian, probably I would've misspelled all the names in the dog breeds chart that they somehow managed to get right.
Anyway. Mostly what I'm saying is, though I'm appreciative of the learnin' and that, please don't write to tell me about it ever, ever again. Not never.
There's good fellows.
Sam.
Databasing. How we love it.
The post:
During vast swathes of yesterday, I databased. Gav also databased. Today, Ceci is databasing and reports that her brain is somewhat dying. It's a thing that each member of the Leaf Team is obliged to do at least once a week, but we do it, I think, with good cheer. And a merry heart. And sometimes we say slightly rude words about it.
It's not beyond our powers to use the whole databasing experience, what is fundamentally integral to our working lives, as a sort of a learning process. Life-enhancing. No less. I, par example, have been learning that some people write their telephone numbers in a format quite alien to me, namely 0123 456 7890 as opposed to 01234 567 890. I was under the impression that regional codes consisted of five numbers and then the personal bit was essentially the remaining six, but this seems to suggest more of a four-seven split. For a while I assumed you were all being contrary and remade your telephonic choices for you. But I've got over that. I guess you all know what you're doing.
(Please staple your manuscripts together, but not to the entry form. Thank you. I hope that was sufficiently sublimin(ab)al.)
Also I have a favourite postal addres, but you're not to hear of it. I'm not one to be loose about the data protection act. But if you've written to us and have an amusing (and faintly ironic) postal address, I'm probably talking about you.
Sam.
Well we are getting there
Our extreme apologies to all the coffee and chocolate entrants waiting to hear if they’ve won. We’ve almost arrived at a long list and hopefully a final meeting on Monday will result in the decision of a couple of winners.
In other news:
Production of The Better Craftsman and Other Stories is well underway.
Umm Matt or Sam is much better at writing these things. Once they emerge from their computer induced trances I’ll get them to write a better post.
gav.
Monday, January 15, 2007
When we are not blogging we are making books. That's a good thing.
- I've been editing the contents of the upcoming short story anthology, which we've decided is to be called The Better Craftsman and Other Stories. I have been reading entries. I also have a couple of short-story critiques on t' boil.
- Matt has been editing my edits and will shortly be making a book.
- Gav has been reading novellas and doing website things.
- Both Matt and Gav have been working most hard on the launching of... secret, special things. I don't know if I'm allowed to say. Probably not. You shall have to await their own blog posts for further info, which is always good because it means you might come back.
- Ceci has been doing EVERYTHING, including accounts and organising our entire working lives and restocking the office with paper and right now she's sending some books to Trinidad. And Tobago.
Also we had a pleasant meeting. Ceci made a very good joke about Brazil nuts.
Sam.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
New Year's Resolutions
Actually that was a massive lie, because now that I'm telling everybody the whole office is chirping up:
- Sam vaguely thinks she'll do more writing this year. And will possibly buy a camel.
- Gav has decided to lose weight and do things with his chest hair, involving the colour pink. Which frankly disturbs me, because Gav is not only hairier than me by far, but also a real man with a beard and things like that.
- Ceci is frightened by the organisation of her handbag. This is to be remedied. Her head-hair is to be dyed, because presumably she doesn't have chest-hair, and is mostly remembering to write 2007 on things.
- Me, which is Matt, had you not already guessed... well. Did you know that it took me twenty minutes of concentrating very tersely to work out why everybody was having a Bond-themed party this new year? Yes. Well. This year I will become a steel magnate, own six airlines, forcibly eject several governments and stop eating Bounties at lunch time, for they are ill-meaning.
Also Leaf Books have slashed the price of all of our titles by half, meaning that - save for the Big Books - all of our titles are now £1.
£1!
That even justifies an exclamation mark.
Happy New Year to all then. I hope your resolutions are both brilliant and workable, and that during the festive period did not forget that we've OPENED SUBMISSIONS TO NOVELLAS and have LAUNCHED A SF & FANTASY COMPETITION.
The latter is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
[Fanfare] Summer Short Story Competition Results [/Fanfare]
Winner:
'The Better Craftsman' by Martin Tyrell.
Runners up:
'Crater Beelines' by Robert Ewing.
'The Space Between' by Jo Cannon.
Commended:
'Viento' by Angela Dodson.
'Everything She Touches' by Chris Williams.
'The Gordon Highlanders' Farewell to Helpmakaar' by Steve Connolly.
'White and Red' by Graham Dickson.
'Ghost Fishing' by Simon Lake.
'Maiden Voyage' by Lynne Voyce.
'Jam' by Jo Cannon.
***
Congratulations to all who entered and most especially to the good people above. All of these names are quite new to us here at Leaf. And lots of them are men, we notice, which is faintly notable. Well done to them. All of the above stories will be published in a Short Story Anthology to be produced at the start of the new year: do keep checking for further announcements about that, because there will very much be some.
That aside, the next point of major interest should be the results of the Coffee and Chocolate competitions, to be announced jointly, hopefully some time in January. That's the plan. Hurrah.
Sam.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
A New Post.
Memememememememememememememeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Things are relatively quiet on the entering competitions front at present, its being close to Christmas and all. They are less quiet on the ordering books front, very likely for the same festive reason. Probably we shall have to get more copies of The Final Theory printed, which we find a hugely exciting prospect. Hugely. No, really. The trouble with hating exclaimation marks, which I pretty much do, is that genuine sentiment ends up looking awfully sarcastic. What I need to do, or you can do it if you've seriously nothing better to be getting on with, is invent a punctuation mark that conveys the same WOOHOOishness at which the exclaimation mark is so adept, but is simultaneously kind of tasteful. I'm just checking the keyboard for a spare one. ~ <-- Does that have any specific purpose? Can we use that? Probably I should bagsy it swiftly.
We're thinking of putting info about us on the website, and photographs. Note DO NOTE that I do not say true info, nor do I say photographs of us, but the issue is being borne seriously in mind. Thank you.
(And we didn't drown that time we went home in the rain. We were smacked fairly offensively in the collective face with handfuls of surprisingly sharp water, but we didn't drown. Go us.)
Sam.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Christmas Holidays CONFIRMED
I'm not a religious sort of fellow but I'm all for the socialist element. Not that I'm much for socialism either, but if we're apportioning political standpoints on to what is essentially a pleasant few days in which to give the people you like a present or twelve, then we might as well say that Christmas is the most kindly.
Not that I give twelve presents to people I like, mind, but there we are. I also feel for those less fortunate, and this Christmas is no exception -- on a personal level at least -- since my entirely beloved is abandoning me for three weeks to fart about in the Australian sunshine.
I am most displeased.
In terms of Leaf Books, which is possibly what this was meant to be about, we're going on our Christmas holidays between the 21st of December and the 3rd of January.
If you place an order or enter a competition or send us a novella extract in this time then we're sorry, but it won't much be processed until we get back. However, emails are probably going to remain accessible, so we'll do our best.
Did you like how I turned into We just there? A subtle narrative development.
We're turning back into Me now. I don't deserve the responsibility.
In more significant news I have bought myself a new pair of jeans, which means I'll no longer require the safety pins I'd emplaced in my last pair. Should I happen to walk past any errant magnets they will not pose me any danger. Furthermore, my new jeans make me look more convincingly like a real human adult male, as opposed to a scruffy street urchin, and I will no longer sponge up the puddles I walk through. Nor will I so readily reveal my underpants when bending over to fulfil your orders.
Sam claims to have bought me some kind of gift that involves me 'needing to wear the provided safety equipment.' Personally I am hoping for a crossbow, because combining a crossbow with these jeans would help me look very adult and flash indeed.
Sorry that this update contained nothing of importance, save those two dates.
Matt.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Brilliant Box of Books
Our newest book -- The Final Theory & Other Stories: The Leaf Books Short Short Story Anthology 2006 (breathe...) -- is very beautiful and quite available to everybody. But then you already knew that, didn't you?
What's more exciting, though, as I'd like to tell you, is a box I made today.
Leaf is so transparent that we're stupidly amused to tell you that we re-use envelopes when we can. Particularly we recycle the ones with bubble-wrapping in them. However, so moral are we that we also consider bubble-wrapping a double-edged... protective device... because as sure as it protects our beautiful wares it also takes about seventy million years to biograde. Precisely like a banana doesn't.
So. Today we had an order that was larger than most, and so needed some custom box-building to sort it out. Taking an old box to task -- which mostly involved me setting about it with a pair of scissors and a craft-knife -- I became very much the Dr. Frankenstein and ultimately engineered such a staggering piece of art that I just had to write here about it.
The merits of my home-made (work-made?) box are thus:
1) It's flush to the books it contains, meaning rattling won't occur.
2) It's got bubblewrap sellotaped neatly to its interior, meaning the books won't get bashed by reckless postal service machinery and/or vans.
3) Its corners are reinforced, much like an armoured vehicle.
4) Its postal label is set in 28 point Sylfaen, which I promise is a nice font for a postal label.
5) It contains beautiful books.
6) It is recycled.
7) It is not from Amazon but could well be, given the utter professionalism involved in its creation.
8) It is neat.
9) It is not naff.
That's all. If you'd like a box made by me, or any of the others, then do please order a large amount of books.
I hope you have considered your christmas presents wisely.
Love,
Matt.
Monday, December 04, 2006
The Final Theory
http://www.leafbooks.co.uk/readers/books/finaltheory.html
It costs £6.99, or you can buy it in a bundle with Razzamatazz (the poetry anthology) for £12 the pair. It's great. There is nothing else to be said.
The rain is very sideways and I don't much want to walk into it. Matt and I lack cars and have to do feet, and then trains, and then feet again. And the rain is sideways. Pity us slightly.
Sam.
Friday, December 01, 2006
I am not sick.
What I would say if I was posting is [censored due to Something] and also that we really truly are judging the Summer Short Story competition AS WE SPEAK, and also the two themed ones. We are quite busyish really with the judging. Also, because it's not as though two alsos per paragraph be sufficient, we had an interesting notion about the Summer Short Story competition. T'original plan was to make a flip book (as in Tea Dance at the Waldorf/Sex with Leonard Cohen - and greetings to the people at the Leonard Cohen fansite who've paid visits to our own site on occasion) out of the two winning entries. But what we've found is that there are significantly more than two entries we consider publishable, and we'd frankly quite like to publish them. So we're wanting to do a short story anthology, basically, with a winner and a runner up and then a small fleet of commended stories, and we think it'll be quite great. What do YOU think?
Plus I had my, ooh, what, two dozenth rejection from a short story magazine this morning (resubmitted this afternoon with no further editing - plucky or nonsensical?), so I'm well up for the idea of reducing notifications of rejections.
I wonder if we shall have Christmas decorations in the office.
Sam.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Mostly extending the poetry comp deadline, but also a little bit of singing.
#I once had a whim and I had to obey it to buy a French horn in a second hand shop;
I polished it up and I started to play it in spite of the neighbours who begged me to stop.
De-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly....
Except really the diddlies are Donald Swann on the piano.
Hello there.
#To sound my horn, I had to develop my embouchure.
I found my horn was a bit of a devil to play DIDDLE-UM-DIDDY-DUM....
You'll possible be wanting some news.
News. Yes.
Oh right. Now, listen to this bit. Don't get distracted by comical song lyrics because it's actually kind of important.
The DEADLINE for the OPEN POETRY COMPETITION is being EXTENDED by ONE MONTH, so it now closes on 31st JANUARY. We've had a little bit of understandable flak in the past for extending the deadline on the Writing for Children competition, which upset some people who'd rushed to make the earlier deadline, and we do apologise profusely if anyone feels similarly pillocksed about on this occasion, but we're primarily doing it because we don't think it's really on to expect people to rush to finish their poems over Christmas. We hope very much that you approve. There.
#WHO. SWIPED. THAT. HORN? I'll bet you a quid somebody did, knowing
I'd found a concerto and wanted to play it, afraid of my talent at playing the horn,
For early today, to my utter dismay, it had vanished away like the dew in the morn.
De-dum-diddy-dum-diddy-dum-diddy-dum-diddy etc.
Otherwise our news is fairly low key, if not mildly tragic in a sort of mundane and essentially privileged fashion. Primarily we had a brief stationary crisis in the office yesterday, wherein we found ourselves quite horribly deprived of both A4 paper, clean and scrap, and sellotape. But we're over it now, and my back hurts a little, because I've spent a good forty minutes of the day bearing the ream of paper across country in my rucksack, in the most dreadful rain, and my umbrella has rusted into several fairly pointless sticks wrapped in soggy cloths, but what of it? We can print words off the computer screen, and then we can tape them to things. We ask little more from life.
Tomorrow we're having another meeting in the pub. This is mostly why our office is possibly just a little bit happier than yours.
#I miss its music more and more and more. Without that horn... I'm feeling sad and so for-lor-ooooooooooooooooooorn....
And if anyone knows where my French horn is, please to be letting me know in comments.
Sam.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
On Publicity & Marketing & Having Sore Eyes
Well, that's been made to facilitate the new media world that is blogging, myspace, livejournals, the lot. Believe me I'm quite the turbo geek so it's of no surprise to me that these things work. Essentially it gives us a 'click-through', that is, that someone clicks it and flies through to the Leaf website whereupon they fall over, marvelling at how brilliant our books are.
I meant to say something earlier but by all means please take one for your own blog, myspace, livejournal or even website. I know writers are more keen on having official websites than scrawly blogs but there we are. If you don't know how to embed one then don't hesitate to email us -- I'll say something nice to you with instruction. Otherwise you can email and request that you very much want to use the code, and with forthright politeness I'll send you it at once.
After that you can place it in your HTML editor, or your 'edit profile' page, or any place really that might happily support a spot of pan-internet sorcery.
Our appreciation is -- and always will be -- legion.
Matt.
PS: I sourced out my own safety-pin thank you. And elsewhere my eyes are behaving wrongly and are resolutely hurting my upper-face. And... and and and... if you're doing the National Novel Writing Month... well. You understand precisely what I mean, and good luck to you. I'm 8,000 words behind schedule myself.
Monday, November 13, 2006
I would like most of all to be printing (or in New Zealand).
Also we're slightly out of envelopes. And we badly need brown paper. The brown paper acquiring mission was set for last Friday, but it sadly failed when the designated vehicle broke down and stranded the operator, who is even now housebound and socially isolated and having to order food over the internet. Goodness knows how people without cars manage to do ANYTHING AT ALL. Possibly that was slightly low. I apologise. I genuinely feel sorry for people whose legs and train timetables have been eaten tragically away by their cars.
On the plus side, the sun has somewhat come out. But the printer is only deceptively silent.
Sam.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Razzamatazz and Other Poems.
The Final Theory and Other Stories, which is the microfiction compilation, is due to go off to the printers very much shortly. There was an exciting blip with the cover at one point, where in these clever tilted monitors decided to hide from us the fact that the cover had gone kind of stripey, and it was only noticed when Matt stood up and looked at it a bit sideways. But that's all been beaten back into shape now, and everything is pretty much well. And I wish to apologise at this juncture for the fact that the Short Short Story competition results never went up on the news page, which is sadly unnewsworthy at present. I'd update it myself only the software's gone wonky. Badger Gav slightly in the comments and he might perhaps oblige.
We are mostly quite well. Matt still waits in vain yet touching hope for his safety pin. He is unravelling sadly from the ankle upwards. I told him he should've offered a free book.
Sam.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Also!
Would anyone be kind enough to include a decent-sized safety pin in their next postal submission to us?
The first person to do so will get a photograph of my repaired jeans placed here, with many kind thankyous added to the post. In effect they will receive an entry dedicated entirely to them .
No really, they will. I can't actually walk in them. It's very sad. They are my favourite jeans.
Help.
Matt.
Surprisingly for a publisher this post is actually about our books
And I might add that it is cold, and that even with two pairs of socks on my toes are possibly frostbitten and are probably only still attached to my feet because my laces are done up so tightly.
Anyway, there'll be a sneak preview of the new book's cover (The Final Theory's that is) up on the website over the weekend, with those having patiently awaited the poetry book hopefully fulfilled and happy by next week.
Otherwise, I smell massively of lockets again.
Are any of our readers doing The National Novel Writing Month? If you are... well. Let's hope that for Leaf's sake you fail and end up writing a stonking short story instead. Or if we pursue this novella idea your 50,000 words are edited nicely into something well below 40,000....
Can I do a smily?
I think I can do a smily:
:)
Matt.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Novella.
My thing is mostly comma splices.
The printer behind me is churning out envelopes with a soothing whirr, and my blue spinny chair makes me feel most wondrous like an emperor. And what a fine day it is to talk about novellas. Novellae. I was too late for Latin. Don't tell me it's Greek. Possibly French. Yes, I am fairly ashamed.
The novella in all its darling fewer-than-40,000-wordedness cropped up in our Monday morning meeting. We were having a thought. A devillishly fine one. How about, we were thinking, a novella competition? 'Cause we don't do novels. We do bite-sized morsicles like poetry and microfiction and the jolly old short story. But a novella encompasses petiteness like pretty much no other form. 'Cause it's like a novel, only knowingly diminutive. We love them anyway and we think they sit well with the whole Leaf ethos, especially the bit about publishing new and struggling but downright excellent types. We were reckoning, so we were, that folk with a novella to display to the world at large are probably not having a lot of luck with their mission.
And we rather want to know what you think about that. Unburden yourselves. Are you faintly in love with the whole juicy idea of the novella? Do you write 'em? And how are you faring when it comes to getting them accepted by a publisher? Would you be well up for the idea of a novella competition? Would you enter in your droves?
Please say yes. OH DO.
(Razzamatazz should be with us in the next couple of days, by the way. It's almost painfully splendid. Have a squint at the website and then have a bash at ordering a copy. £6.99 a go. It's a damnably fine book, ma'ams. Sirs. Damnably fine.)
Sam.
A New Convention
Now the reason that text on a web-page such as this one is done in blocks is down to the way a web-page is constructed and the language (html) it is coded in, though this is changing with the advent of a language called CSS that can replicate print conventions.
A separate paragraph should denote a scene-break or a significant change but if they are used continually then the flow is interrupted and the writing can feel stilted.
So I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts about why this new style of internet paragraphing is becoming so widely used in the real-world?
Gav.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Breaking things for fun.
Next, I might, for my own amusement, dismantle and remantle the photocopier.
Sam.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Minor hauntings.
But the big news of the day is that one of the toilet cubicles is haunted, or plagued, or possibly beset by or with scorpions. I was occupying said cubicle and was not unnecessarily perturbed by anything I encountered therein until I emerged to learn that people had been lingering around outside talking about 'something scary within' and hoping to zap it, and when it was free they flooded in on a mission of sorts and they wouldn't tell us what was going on. I am faintly disturbed.
(Also we have a new telephone number, which we mentioned once before, but we meant to mention it again. It was the lack of telephone calls that reminded us. It's on the contact page of the website. Possibly putting telephone numbers on blogs leaves one open to telephonic spamming, and that would be somewhat miserable.)
Yes.
Sam.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A mostly polite note about free books.
Just to be letting you know, anyone who from this point onwards does not specify their free book or books when entering competitions online will not be contacted to discover which book they would actually like. They'll be sent a random one picked by ourselves. This is not because we wish to be mean and undemocratic but more because it makes things sadly confusing when we have to wait for people to get back to us with their selections, and then we forget who's been sent what and when and it's all a bit unhappy. So we're quite sorry about that.
Matt smells massively of Lockets.
Sam.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The wrong 650 words.
Mostly we databased, in the new office to which we have recently repaired. I am still settling into the new office, personally, having spent a week at home coughing and inhaling lemsip. We live in a partitioned-off section at the end of a biggish suite. We are quite cut off. We can observe the enemy through cleverly positioned holes in the partition. Really there is no enemy, but pretending so makes the afternoons pass more swiftly. I mean the afternoons when we're databasing. Not when we're reading your delightful work. I'm not being sarcastic. I actually mean that. No, I mean that bit too. Everything looks so sarcastic without exclamation marks, and so cheap with them. What to do?
I wish I had a bassoon. I was thinking what fun it would be to sit behind the partition and randomly blow through a bassoon, and no-one on the other side would have the faintest idea what I'd done. They'd think I have magic lungs.
We get the proofs for the poetry book ('Razzamatazz and Other Poems') back tomorrow, with any luck. And we're currently in the process of sculpting the Short Short Story Competition Anthology (which is to be called 'The Final Theory and Other Short Short Stories'). I'm not sure if the two Others should be capitalised or not. Bear with me. And we databased like woah. We printed off envelopes, and sometimes we printed them the right way up. A special bonus prize to anyone who receives an upside down envelope from us will not actually be offered, because I don't think I have that kind of jurisdiction. But still, it's a nice idea.
And like I say, we didn't eat much in the way of cereal. Tomorrow I'm going to have crumpets for breakfast. Still nothing will be solved.
I hope posterity gets something out of it all the same.
Sam.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Staples.
4. Please number pages and staple them together. Do not put staples through cheques.
My thanks are this morning extended to whoever ignored that. There is now indeed a diminutive hole in my left forefinger and I've bled a little bit on my t-shirt which yes, is black, but probably isn't much to do with the point.
Matt.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
All Change. Next Stop...
Sam has a cold, which means she's missed the move. I think we've moved all her stuff. Yeah, I'm sure we did.
Leaf are off to coast tomorrow morning to say hello to the folks at the Welsh Books Council. I haven't been to Aberystwyth in years and I'm determined to have chips on the front. Though this will depend on the weather; nostagia is nice but not worth getting soaked for.
Speaking of Razzamatazz, the new format A5 Leaf Books Poetry Anthology (containing the winning entries to the short poetry competition) has just been sent on CD to the lovely people at the printers. So that should be on sale shortly.
Next stop... Christmas.
Gav.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I think the new books deserve two entirely similar blog posts.
There's really no means of adequately conveying how stunning these tree-derived beasts are. Mostly we're terrifically excited about the spines, and the colours and also the lack of staples.
I think you people should be buying them. Hugely. I did, and I work here, which is a bit like laughing at your own jokes. Oh they ARE so great.
Great like flying ponies.
Sam.
The New Books
AS IN NOT THERE
OR ANYWHERE CLOSE TO THE WHEREABOUTS THEY OCCUPIED WHEN IN TRANSIT
IN FACT THEY ARE PRECISELY WHERE THEY WERE MEANT TO BE
AND
THEY
ARE
BRILLIANT
Matt.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Would that be a vanload of books?
They mentioned nothing about a delay-induced discount. On which point it is perhaps best to remain silent.
So currently I lie in wait, like a wolf, for the man to come with the van and the trolley and the clipboard. I hope Gav gets here soon, because there might be some heavy lifting involved, and I don't much fancy it.
In other news, the poetry book that the chaps were wrangling about yesterday (see previous post) is now fairly well corrected and more than moderately wonderful and will be send to the printers - not the same printers - on the morrow. You can see a picture of it on the front page of the website. And the time, I think, has come to introduce you to Leaf's new format. We are branching out somewhat into A5 books, mostly because we can. Our material will remain essentially pert and bite-sized, being poetry and micro-fiction and jolly old short stories. Razzamatazz & Other Poems: The Leaf Books Poetry Anthology 2006 is to be the first in a hopefully significantly longer line of A5 Leaf books. We do love our dinky little A6 pocket-sized booklings, and we do intend to make more in the future (the upcoming flip-book for starters), but the good old A5 format does have many advantages that it would be undeniably shirkworthy not to recognise and celebrate in a solid and papery form. First off, they go better on shelves and in shops, having height and bulk and legible spines and all those things that booksellers seem to value. Second off, they have more in the way of stature and import and properness and good old legitimate reality about them. And thirdly, and perhaps most significantly, you can fit more authors into them. We rather like publishing as many new and established and essentially perfectly spiffing authors as is humanly possible, so really we feel that Leaf and A5 are destined to be fairly happy together. That's what we think anyway.
Of course, we're always fantastically keen to know what you think as well. So tell us. Comment. Talk to us, sometimes. I THEE IMPLORE.
That'll do. Don't want to sound desperate.
(We might take photos of the books tomorrow. We shan't be able to express our joy in mere words. Well, no. Obviously we shall. Words are our trade. We simply choose... not to.)
Sam.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
On Having Started An Office War: The Four-Point Plan Concerning Premeditated Nuisance
2) When making new Poetry book covers, use and forthrightly argue relentlessly and without mirth for a cover n0-one else wants.
3) When succumbing to group consensus, sulk.
4) Having got over oneself, use new cover, decide it's in fact much better, send it to everyone, have everyone say, 'Yes Matt, it's better,' and crawl back into small space between chair and monitor.
I banged my head four times yesterday, on various consistencies of metal or wood, and though this isn't necessarily as important as your caravan or your pesto recipes or the Chateauneuf du Pape you're saving to throw at someone prominent in the publishing industry, it is deserving of the utmost sympathy.
Sympathy is best addressed to 'F.A.O Matt, Leaf,' and is indeed helpful if in cheque or bung form.
I'm not at all keen on the word 'bung' I might add.
Today's super-smashing word is:
Pogonotrophy
which is quite frankly the cultivation or growing of a beard.
This word is derived not only in Greek but in Anatomy. Pogon is beard, whereas pogonion is the foremost point of the midline of the chin.
Discuss.
Matt.
The Next Thrilling Instalment.
The books didn't come. The 'phone-call was not returned. VERY LITTLE is as it should be. And I'm waiting, honestly I am. I'm waiting as hard as I can. What more can I do? I cannot engage in warfare on the printers lest the books succumb to the ensuing rampant fires. I can't 'phone the printers because I'm scared of the telephone. Well, moreso because they don't really answer. I can only wait. I fear I may have to wait through lunch, because the office is currently manned by myself and myself alone.
Send sandwiches to the postal address on the website. Except they won't come in time. Can you send sandwiches by telegram?
Sam.
Monday, October 02, 2006
The Books (part the first)
And as for the new books?I don't know! I went home before the designated deadline for their arrival, because I needed to change my socks. They may have come. They may not have come. Only Gavin knows the answer.
TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT THRILLING... ooh, QI on UKG2. Acronym heaven. Later.
PS. Ceci. Tomorrow. BBC Radio Wales. 7.20am. I know, but I thought I might as well tell you all the same.
Sam.
Friday, September 29, 2006
News and Advice, mostly in Bold.
But news. Such news. I forget what it is for the moment. You'll know about the new website, won't you. We're all very proud of the new website. That was mostly Gav's doing. I propose a few cheers for Gav. Three, I think, is customary, but the size of the donation is ultimately up to you.
The best thing about the new website, in my opinion, is that it's vastly reduced the number of complaints we receive about the impossibility of entering competitions online. That's fairly great of it. I hope you're all finding it similarly smooth and silky. It's not been entirely glitch free, to be honest: we've had a couple of cases of people paying for one entry and then submitting three all at once, which wasn't really supposed to happen. Just to make it clear: the Summer Short Story Competition costs £6 per single entry, not for an unlimited number of entries; likewise the poetry competition and two themed competitions cost £4 per single entry. Yes. We can see the weird little symbols too. We can't, sadly, physically forbid you from inadvertantly paying for one entry and then sending us more than one, because we're not quite that fantastic at web design - so please make sure that the number of purchases on the Paypal form matches the number of entries you intend to submit. That'd be more or less great.
And people... please to be specifying your FREE BOOK when you enter a competition. All our competitions entitle you to a free Leaf Book of your choice, provided you choose one that's actually in print, but very few of you are actually telling us which book you'd like. You can mark it in on the comments section of the online entry form, and we'll pop it in an envelope and send it to you, and really no-one loses out. And if you enter twice, and pay twice as well, you get two free books. Which I think deserves at least a muted hurrah.
I'm enjoying all this bolding.
(I've given no specific advice as yet to non-online entrants. What I'd mostly like to say is please, please write your name and all contact details quite clearly on the entry form. Some people are not writing their names and contact details particularly clearly, and that makes us sad and confused. Don't worry though. I'm not going to do any naming and shaming. Mostly because I can't read your names.)
Now then. NEW BOOKS. Don't get over-excited. It's not as though they're actually here or anything. But we have yet another estimated time of arrival, and this time I think I believe it. They're now supposed to be here next Monday. Sorry, grovellings, sorry again, but it's been out of our hands for some weeks now. The latest stage in the saga has something to do with the binders' having cut the books too high (which I think must be a technical binding term that outsiders are not necessarily supposed to understand), and now they all have to be re-printed and re-bound. It's terribly sad and a little bit tragic, but everyone's being pretty heroic about it and the printers are pulling a couple of all-nighters and hopefully the whole sorry tale will conclude next week with some really shiny and properly cut books.
Finally. Other Stuff. Well. We've judged another competition. That was fairly exciting. It was the Short Short Story competition. All the winners have been informed, except for the ones who live in far away countries and haven't provided us with email addresses or telephone numbers, and the date of their knowing the happy news is entirely dependent on the whims of the postal service. Let's send hopeful and hurrying thoughts to the postal service. We'll put the winners up on the website and on the blog at the beginning of next month, which is very soon really. And then we'll open our new Short Story competition, which has a terrifically handy word limit of 1,500-5,000 and is utterly open in topic terms and invites you to submit stories on any subject whatsoever (such as grapes or athlete's foot or paper clips or the offside rule or professional trampoliners or integral calculus or peanuts - we are full of ideas). But don't submit them until October the 1st, after which time we will welcome them with open arms.
And that's about the size of it.
Sam.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Well Hello and Welcome
Hopefully, we've also made it easier find all the information you need. We've also made it easier to order books and enter our competitions.
If you have any thoughts or feedback about the new site we'd love to hear from you.
Gav.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
In which we struggle to overcome our numerous disappointments.
This thing about the website's being down. We're sorry about that, but please be assured that it's all in a good cause. There's going to be a shiny new website, with bells and foliage and a double-glazed conservatory and, more honestly, a great deal of improved functionality. We have every confidence that it will make considerably more sense than the old one. You'll even be able to submit work online without risking the attendant coronary incidents that the previous procedure generally provoked. See me alliterate plosively. As we speak, Gav's hacking manfully away at the old HTML coalface, which I understand is how websites are generally hewn and shapen. And it's coming. I promise you. In the meantime, there's a holding page through which you can enter all our competitions.
(We thought the books were coming then. A silver van pulled up and there was a man with a clipboard and everything, but it wasn't the books. We are truly inconsolable.)
In other news, spiders are developing a fort of some description in our storeroom, between the copies of the 'In Love' poetry anthology and some discarded polysterene. We're being fairly brave about it.
Sam.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Out with the old
Sorry for any inconvenience.
More later.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
They are coming, truly they are.
This is the current state of affairs. The new books very genuinely are at the printers. We know for a fact that the printer chappie started spitting them out of his machine last Friday, because he telephoned us on the telephone to ask if we were quite sure we didn't want them laminated, and we said 'ah, go on then', so that's what's happening. In the time it takes for the printer chappie's machine to disgorge ten bulging boxes of the dinkiest, shiniest, most eloquently written little books you could ever hope to meet, the new books will be here. They will come in a silver van (with wings... and driven by a PIXIE). It will be more than very exciting.
I know the wait is vexatious. But it's so character building and you'll be glad of it in years to come.
Otherwise we are pimping our new poetry competition left right and centre. So why not here? It's new and it's great. It's the Leaf Books Open Poetry Competition 2006 and it kindly invites you to submit poems of up to 25 lines in length on any subject whatsoever, such as hats or donkeys or oblate spheroids or free will or cabbage soup or Norfolk. It cost £4 to enter, and that £4 entitles you to choose one of our existing 19 titles and have us pop it in the post to you with a sweet little compliment slip and a newsletter. So off to the website with you now. To the submit work page, to be precise, where you can download and print off an entry form or enter online or all manner of jolly things.
And you might want to have a stab at entering the Summer Short Story Competition as well while you're at it. It's not that we're in any way DISTRESSINGLY SHORT OF ENTRIES or anything. It's just, you know, a good and worthwhile and SOMEWHAT UNDER-APPRECIATED competition. That's all.
No other news of great import. The sun is coming in at an unkind angle through the window, because we've been on the blinds waiting list for about seventy-two years now. The office is a little untidy. Possibly we may have to commit a spot of arson on it later in the week. The weather is not unseasonable. Our lunches were digested with little in the way of complaint.
Oui.
C'est more or less ca.
Sam.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Luddite vs. Databasing
So that's sometimes what the end of competitions can herald. You're wondering whether or not to procrastinate; read over some hardcopy entries, visit the kitchen for a brew, not frown so much (rather express vacant bemusement) at the entries from people who've not read our guidelines or file any sort of injunction against that chap who rings weekly wondering why we don't much like his violent erotica.
You're ok though. Lunchtime is approaching and you're feeling important because Sam's giving you Documents of Imperative Worth to proof.
Matt.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Slightly incompentent but mostly great.
Now. This would've been a happy tale and fit to tell the young ones had I not made a fairly massive error in the shape of printing off a fairly shambolic draft containing two not entirely insubstantial typos and then not proofing it. Nobody, in fact, proofed it. We simply put our faith in its inherent goodness.
The first lesson that we can take from this story is that we are trusting.
I hasten to add that we do proof all our books many more times than several billion, but we, or mostly I, suffered an extreme moment of fallibility this morning.
The second lesson that we can take from this story is that we are endearingly human.
I did not mince the rogue newsletters. I corrected the errors (firstly, poor Lynette Craig, one of our Commended entries in our recent Short Poetry competition, was denied her own surname; second, the maximum line count in our NEW OPEN POETRY COMPETITION that is worthy of capitalisation read not so much '25 lines' as it was supposed to, but more sort of 'specify length', which was less than ideal). I corrected them painstakingly, with a pen and with my own hand. Possibly this makes us look a wee bit unprofessional. Mostly it SAVES TREES. IT SAVES TREES, people.
The third and fourth lessons we can take from this story are that we are unbelievably tenacious and environmentally friendly.
So, to recap.
1. We are trusting.
2. We are endearingly human.
3. We are unbelievably tenacious.
4. We are environmentally friendly.
Wow. Essentially, go us. We shall now consider the matter closed.
By the by. Did you want to see the minutes of that meeting we went to last Thursday? Did you? Ha. Well, you shan't. You shall see the menu instead. That's infinitely more of a treat.
Ceci and I originally ordered the vegetable curry, but were thwarted by its being off.
I went for fish (grilled) and chips (less so) and vegetabalious matter instead.
Ceci had Glamorganshire sausages. Those meatless jobs. Dandy.
Matt had a great big manly pie with animals in it.
A splendid time was had by all. We came away quite motivated, and also slightly bloated.
And someone who shall remain unnamed had half a bitter at lunchtime. You may write in with your educated guesses. Don't proof my blog post unless you can simultaneously come up with half a dozen reasons why we're wonderful. Thank you.
Sam.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Short Poetry Competition Winners Announced
For a small competition the standard was high - far higher, certainly, than in the last big-money competition I judged. A lot of the poems felt very fresh and individual; though technically accomplished, they were not mere technical exercises. - Sheenagh Pugh, judge.
The winning entry was 'Tundra' by Alice Allen, a poem that, Pugh says, 'leaves the reader's mind a little marked, altered from what it was... that is what, as poets, we are all trying to do'.
Highly Commended were 'Clear Night' by Pat Borthwick, 'Razzamatazz' by Rosi Beech, 'Owl-Night' by Marc Harris and 'Love' by Charles Evans.
Commended were 'Gulls' by Christine Lowes, 'Boxes' by Emily Gale, 'Stepmother' by Simone Mansell Broome, 'Thought While Driving Home From Swansea' by Rona Laycock, 'Ophelia' by Kate Noakes, 'Office Block' by Michael Price, 'Mountaineer' by Rosy Wilson, 'Alien on a Train' by Marguerite Colgan, 'Reflections' by Carol Boland, 'Afghan Dream' by Caroline Clark, 'New Age' by Rosi Beech, 'The Accomplished Lover' by Rosi Beech, 'Doorstop' by Katherine Stansfield, 'Family Reunion' by Paul Cuddihy, 'On the Doorstep' by Clive Gilson, 'The Winning Score' by Marc Harris, 'Whale Watch' by Pat Borthwick, 'Vodka Kicks + Teardrops' by Charles E. Baylis, 'Early Childhood' by Tom Dowling, 'Matthew' by Sue Anderson, 'Her Sons' by Frances-Anne King, 'Mirror, Signal, Manoeuvre' by Juliette Hart, 'Orang-utan' by Merryn Williams, 'Cuttlefish' by E.V. Brooks, 'War of Attrition' by Geraldine Mills, 'Five Rhythms' by Rosemary McLeish, 'Fuel' by Jo Verity, 'Commandment No. 5' by Ben Barton, 'The Trampoline' by Dawn Schuck' and 'Durer's Mother' by Lynette Craig.
Leaf.
Short Poetry Competition 2006 - Judge's Report
A few had to be disqualified after one reading, primarily due to a limited acquaintance with modern poetic practice: reading some contemporary poems before spending good money on entry fees is sound advice.
But there weren't many of these. Most of the poems had at least something that would call you back for a second reading. That's when the judge starts making three piles -yes, no and maybe -and hoping that the number of yeses will make it unnecessary to revisit the maybes, always the most problematical pile. Often, maybes are poems that have a lot going for them, but also something working against that general good impression. It may be one or two weak lines, and in that case it can make a lot of difference where they are. It is easier to forgive a glitch in the middle of a poem than a weak ending, which stays in the mind as the poem's final word. Sometimes, though, a maybe is just a poem that needed to be read more often, perhaps one that makes its impact more subtly, and when you read it that one more time, it turns into a definite yes.
There were 35 poems I thought worthy of inclusion in this anthology. For a small competition the standard was high - far higher, certainly, than in the last big-money competition I judged. A lot of the poems felt very fresh and individual; though technically accomplished, they were not mere technical exercises. There was a musicality about some that particularly pleased me; I would mention in this context "New Age", with its rhythmical refrains, and "Vodka kicks and teardrops", a personal favourite of mine for reasons I'm not entirely sure of, but I think it's because it sounds not only like a song lyric but genuinely artless. Which means, of course, that it is no such thing; it takes great craft and effort to appear artless.
There was also a great variety of subject matter, and some of the most difficult, i.e. political and popular subject matter, actually came off. I thought the idea behind "Afghan Dream", a fantasy in which the undervalued women walk out of the country en masse, leaving the men to their own devices, was brilliant, though I think revision could probably improve the execution. It was delightful to see a poem celebrating football that actually worked ("The Winning Score") and a persona poem in the voice of the eponymous "Orang-utan".
In the end I narrowed it down to 5 poems, all impressive in very different ways. The unrhymed sonnet "Love" is extremely accomplished; at first its line breaks look odd, but they are designed, in a way more reminiscent of US than UK verse, to throw a great deal of stress on the first word of the next line. It strikes me as completely in control of its language and ideas; if I'd been asked to find a runner-up, this would be it.
"Owl-Night" is a poem of senses and observation so sharp, it sends shivers through an alert reader. "Razzamatazz", from an author who has, I think, achieved three poems in the anthology, is another with a great deal of musicality, and also joy, an emotion surprisingly difficult to convey convincingly in poetry. "Clear Night", set very convincingly at sea (both real and metaphorical) carries a heavy freight of emotion. It also has an unstated back-story, which gives it its haunting quality and is, I think, almost always a bonus in a poem. Our reader does not have to know everything that happened before he came in; we can often achieve a more powerful effect by making him create some of that story for himself out of the hints we have left him in the language and imagery.
This thought was at the back of my choice of winner. "Tundra" is not a poem that explains itself neatly. We can assume the woman is some kind of archetypal refugee; we can recognise the universality of the contrast in verse 3 between her anguish and the indifference of the cosmos:
how the sky though beautiful
had neither watched nor cared
formal in its corridors of silver
But whether that baby was real or an illusion, and what happened to it, is far more equivocal. What is certain is that it exists in our minds after reading the poem, as do the woman and her situation. The language and imagination of the poet were haunting enough to put them there and leave the reader's mind a little marked, altered from what it was. That is what, as poets, we are all trying to do.
Sheenagh Pugh
New Competition - Open Poetry Competition 2006
We invite poems (maximum 25 lines) on any theme.
Selected entries will be published in a Leaf Books Collection. For more information and to enter, click here.
Leaf.
At the Printers - 8 New Titles
At the Printers - 8 New Titles
Eight new Leaf titles.
Featuring:
For Children
Barry's Barnet -
Barry has always been a bit of a loner. This is because he doesn't wash, he smells, and he has a lot of hair. Now, indeed, he's got so much hair that it's coming to life, growing rows of very sharp teeth and eating things. On the plus side, he's finally found a friend. Pity it's getting bigger....
Kafka meets Roald Dahl in this wickedly humorous tale of a hygiene-shy boy with literally uncontrollable hair. Adults and children alike will be delighted by this highly original story.
Pat Hopper - The Gang of Three (Children's Short Story Competition Runner-Up)
Emma wasn't happy. She'd just seen her big brother jump into a fairy ring and vanish in a puff of smoke. She must get Jason back. With Al Cappuccino the frog perched on her foot and Miss Pretty the cat in her arms, she follows Jason into the fairy ring. But there’s trouble awaiting the Gang of Three....
Lora and William Gill - The Monkey and the Diamond (Children's Short Story Competition Runner-Up)
What would a monkey do with a diamond? Greed leads to unwise choices in this lyrical and beautifully illustrated tale of a jewel and its ever changing parade of would be owners. Perfect for younger children.
Moira Andrew - The Very Useful Bag
Henry is itchy and very bored indeed. He can't find anything interesting to do until he finally hits on a really splendid idea: making useful bags for all the family. But these are no ordinary bags....
A gentle, funny and imaginative story. Ideal for younger readers.
For Adults
Robert Wilton - In No Man's Land (Winter Short Story '06 Winner)
50 years after the First World War, a group of veterans returns to the trenches where they fought each other. Some have come to remember, some to forget. But neither process turns out to be as straightforward as they expected, as a series of revelations challenges their memories and values. The importance - and perhaps the impossibility - of the attempt to come to terms with our own past is exposed in this unpredictable and moving story.
Kathy Mansfield - The Steady Bookkeeper (Winter Short Story '06 Runner-Up)
Paul Phiri is an ordinary, decent man in an ordinary, decent life: taking care of his family, holding down a 'good' job, respected in his community. He is just one of millions of people living ordinary lives in
Maria Lalic - Paper Dolls and Coconut Mushrooms
Three sisters enjoy a childhood of innocent games and make-believe. They share everything - except, perhaps, paper dolls and coconut mushrooms - in this collection of funny and honest autobiographical episodes showing that none of us ever quite grow up.
Conrad Williams - The Cryptanalyst
Meredith has been painting the city in code. His secrets are written on bus shelters, factory walls and public toilets. Raglan's on to him: a loner, a spy, a man who likes to spend his time unpicking knots. Raglan and Meredith, scorpion-dancing all over the city's streets. And I was there to watch it go horribly wrong....
An intense, adult and darkly comic tale by a noted fantasy author.
More Details Coming Soon.
Leaf.